Brianne Blogs?

Brianne hates taxes.

Always.

 While liberal in most areas. Beyond liberal in most areas, I’m hardcore conservative republican when it comes to my money and taxing and the like. As a nurse, I’m ashamed to admit that while I’m sure nationalized healthcare is the best for the greater good, I don’t like it because it would increase my taxes and I already pay too much already.

Let’s take a moment to talk about some things that bother me the most in taxing:

Complaint One: As a single person, I get penalized. Someone needs to explain this to me. I am the only person supporting me. If I get sick or lose my job, there is no one there to pick up the slack and yet the government makes me pay more of my money than those of you who have a spouse to fall back on. What?! That’s rude and sexist. Clearly the government wants all of us women to get married, have 9 babies and quit our jobs and be supported by our husbands. Now, I think that’s all well and good. And if I ever accidentally marry a millionaire and have his 9 babies, I’ll be doing just that. But, until then, should I really be penalized for taking care of myself? I think not!

Complaint Two: I live in New York City. The most expensive place you can call home here in the US. I do this and I love it and don’t complain about my $3050 a month rent. New York is great and I pay to enjoy it. But, to tax me for living in Manhattan is a slap in the face. I pay federal taxes and I pay state taxes, but Manhattan thinks it so great that it charges me to live here? What?! It’s an overpriced slap in my already overcharged face. It’s rude. Do I not already pay enough to live here? If NYC wants to tax people for coming here, it should be tourists. Welcome to New York and here’s your bill. That’s all it would take. Get it together, New York government, don’t screw over your residents, take it out on the visitors that come here and stand around in the middle of the sidewalk so that the rest of us have to walk around them. Charge them for that!

Complaint Three: I work for a nursing agency. I am not a freelance nurse (although I really like the sound of that). And yet, for some reason, First Step Registered Nursing does not take taxes out of my checks. And while it’s really nice to get every last cent of what I worked for, it’s not so nice to write a $15,000 check to the government. That hurts, it hurts bad! While this tax complaint has nothing to do with the government tax rates, it’s still tax related, so it counts.

Good Luck to all of you on tax day. (It’s tomorrow, but I want you all to have time to rise to the challenge I am extending you later in this blog) I’m 100% positive that none of you took the bank account hit that I did, so it can’t be that bad. Let’s all do the right thing and come up with a way to stick it to the government this day. It’s like in college when Mindy, Amber and I got mad about our scholarships and money they were taking from us one semester, so we gave it the old college try (literally in this case) and did our best to stick it to SWOSU. We took things that were not for our taking. I don’t want to say stealing, since the university owed us money and we just took things that were of the value that was owed to us. You call it what you will. So, let’s all take inspiration from that awesomeness and try to steal from the government on tax day. I suggest the following:

1. steal some books from a public library

2. send a lot of mail with incorrect addresses, so the post office has to pay to send it back to you.

3. apply for a federal grant for a project that you do not plan to do, ever!

4. us new yorkers can jump the subway turnstiles so we don’t have to pay to ride public transportation. Or, we can sneak in behind a mother with a stroller when they open the emergency exit doors for her.

I challenge all of you to come up with a way to tell the government that you aren’t going to take it! Taxes suck! Have a great day!

So, I’ve been rereading all of Jane Austens books this spring. It’s been a delightful time. If you are a girl who is not Amber (she doesn’t like that people visit their friends for months at a time-even though it’s what people did back in the early 1800’s) and you haven’t read Jane, then you should. I’ll list them for you:

Northanger Abbey

Mansfield Park

Persuasion

Emma

Sense and Sensibility

Pride and Prejudice

This is in the order in which I have been reading them. Northanger is the least famous. It was the first written, but last published. It’s not as refined as the others and the herione is a bit more silly than Elizabeth Bennet, but who isn’t? I love this one because the main character is so obsessed with the book that she is reading that she starts to bring it into her real life and it causes problems. (hmmm…that sounds familiar)

 So, the only problem with reading so much Austen at once is that I have accidentally been speaking in Austen terms. Meghan has noticed this and is a little concerned. I just seem to phrase things in a very 1805 kind of way. And while I haven’t started referring to a year as a “twelvemonth” I fear that it’s not too far off. A couple of days ago, Meghan woke up from her post work sleep and found me sitting in the living room, watching tv in what can only be described as a very Jane Austen way. I was sitting on the very edge of the couch with a very straight back with my arms folded elegently in my lap and my feet crossed at the ankles. I only wish there was a picture of it as it’s the most un-Brianne way to sit that you’ll ever see. The weirdest part of it all is that I was alone in the living room (not trying to impress the queen or anything) and watching baseball. Who sits like that for a sport? I’m almost ashamed! It’s a good thing there’s only one book left and then I can go back to normal.  

Masters Update: As of Friday night, Phil Mickelson is 2 back of the lead with a Friday round of 4 under par and one can only hope on his way to a third green jacket. www.philmickelson.com Today’s tee time is 2:20 (eastern). Coverage is on the golf channel and then on CBS at 3:30. Happy Phil watching, all!

yes, i am still revelling in the glory of my freedom from identity theft hell. it’s a dark place. it burns. it’s not pleasant. it’s so nice to be out and back into the world of people who are only bothered by their own financial decisions. it’s nice to be back. i missed it so!

as i am so thrilled with this, i can’t focus on anything else right now. except for how good general hospital is right now! (i know something only amber appreciates)

also, don’t forget the yankees play the redsox tonight at 7pm (eastern). watch and enjoy!

Four score and a few years ago, an evil bitch stole my identity and opened up a T-Mobile account in my name and ran up a $2500 bill which she never paid. Enter the collections agencies.

Over the past few years, this account has bounced around from collections agency to collections agency. Each time I have followed procedure and sent a letter disputing this account. Each time I have gotten no response and 6 or so months later I would ge a letter from yet another agency. I contacted all three credit bureaus to dispute this, put a hold on my credit report so that no one, me included, can open anything in my name, and I contacted the FCC.

Then, just when I think everything is over as it had been a long time since I heard anything, I get a letter from a lawyer in February saying that they are offering me the option to pay off less than half of the balance. A low $847. What a bargain this is. Seriously, that’s what this lawyer said to me when I called him to tell him that this account wasn’t mine. And he said to me “Ma’am, this is a really good deal they are offering you.” What? It’s a good deal for me to pay $900 for an account that wasn’t mine? On a debt that doesn’t belong to me? You’re a jackass! Okay, I didn’t say that, but what I did say wasn’t pleasant either and might have implied that he was an idiot.

So, the process began again…letters were written, information requested, and etc. And then, something weird happened. This lawyer, who I basically called stupid, sent me this form to dispute the account with T-Mobile. (T-Mobile and it’s lovely workers having refused to talk to me each of the four, yes four previous times I had attempted to e-mail, call and write in an attempt to sort this out directly with them, saying that since it had been turned over to collections, it was out of their hands. LIARS!)

Bastard Liars aside, I filled out this form and submitted a copy of every single piece of proof I had of all the letters of dispute I had written, the communication between myself and the credit bureaus and the FCC, proof of my living in Oklahoma when this account was opened in another state, the address of the person who opened the T-Mobile account (it showed up on my credit report a few years back-what a slap in the face!) and a very long letter.

After sending in this packet, I didn’t feel too hopeful. And then about a week ago, the credit monitoring service I have called to say that T-Mobile had looked at my credit report. Um, what? My first thought should have been that they were looking to validate what I had said, instead my first thought was, “Is someone else trying to open a T-Mobile account in my name?” So, yesterday, on my way to Ezra’s, I get the mail. I see in it a thin letter from T-Mobile. Naturally, being me, I instantly assumed this would be bad news. So imagine my surprise when I read this walking down 75th Street:

Dear Madam: AFter a throrough investigation, T-Mobile has determinded that the account referenced above was activated without your knowledge or authorization. As a result, T-Mobile has canceled the account, and you have been absolved from any financial responsibility for the account. Should this matter have been referenced to a collection agency, T-Mobile will notify them of our findings and will have the account removed from their system. T-Mobile extends our most sincere apology for this situation and any inconvenience it may have created…

That’s right, they messed up and they are sorry! Even if they aren’t, I just don’t care! It’s finally over! I teared up as I was reading on the corner of 75th and Broadway. And I didn’t care! Life was good!

You know how something can just hang over you even when you’re not actively thinking about it? This has been years of me always knowing somewhere in the back of my mind that I was completely screwed over and couldn’t do anything about it. And now, it’s done! Done! Done! Done!

I just still can’t wrap my brain around it. It’s like a new, nice reality that hasn’t set it yet. But, needless to say, I still recognize that it’s a miracle! Let’s all take a moment of silence in appreciation of the glory of it all….

Four years ago…

Roy Williams and the Dynamic Duo of the Kansas Jayhawks make a fantastic run through the NCAA Mens Basketball Tournament. Things were good. Then Kirk’s ankle got hurt and they met up with Syracuse in the championship. Things were bad. All bad. Stupid Steve McNamara made 18 million three point shots and don’t get me started on Carmello Anthony.

Needless to say, Autumn (fellow Kansas fan) and I have been harboring bitterness and regret and pain for four long years.

Roy moved on to North Carolina and has won his championship, but still none for Kansas…until…

Yesterday! Kansas over Memphis in overtime following the three point buzzer beater!

Congratulations to Kansas and please enjoy the best part of March Madness: One Shining Moment!

While I’ve never had a baby, I imagine that looking at your child for the first time is much like I felt when I opened the Dyson box on Friday. Never have I seen anything so lovely. It’s purple!

Our $40 vacuum broke two weeks ago and since I’ve always wanted a Dyson I decided to do some research and make an informed decision. So, I went to the website and read the Dyson Story and learned everything there is to learn about this vacuum and it’s inventor and it’s early years. www.dyson.com

And I ordered this beauty and it showed up two days later and has rocked my world ever since.

Our friend, Maren, left her cat here a few weeks ago and she got litter on the floor (Luna, not Maren). The old vacuum didn’t so much suck up the litter as spray it across the wood floor. Enter the Dyson: no more litter!

Our new living room rug is supposed to be frequently vacuumed and our old one didn’t so much suck up the little fuzzies as it moved them around. Enter the Dyson: no more fuzz!

It’s a vacuum miracle!             

It’s like a dirt sucking super hero. Like and X-Man. Like the Wolverine of vacuums. And it came with all these attachments and hoses and a carpet cleaning kit! I can’t wait for the rug to get dirty enough to bust out all of the fun stuff. I am also looking forward to a sit down with the owners manual. I’ll let you know if anything interesting is discovered. Try not to be jealous! It’ll be tough.

• I turned 26 (boo!) on March 17th. My roomie, Meghan, nicely decorated for my birthday and assisted in creating a minimally celebratory birthday as to my liking. Well done, Meghan!
• I have been reading all of Jane Austen’s books as I was just feeling that girly. And, to really emphasize the point, after I read each book, I watch the movie version. I just finished Sense and Sensibility today and will start the final of this undertaking, Pride and Prejudice, soon. I can’t wait!
• Soon after my birthday, I got the flu. I should have seen it coming, since it had been four years since my last sickness, but I forgot! (back info: i get sick every four or so years. At age 18 i got what i called “the lung disease” where i had this horrible cough, lost lung function <pulmonary function test scores in the 80’s for the nurses out there> and was on steroids, antibiotics and inhalers of every kind for 2 months. At age 22 i got the flu and ever so nicely gave it to Amber.) And now, at age 26, the flu again! Fevers, cough, weakness, accidental tylenol overdosing for way longer than is respectable in a nurse and other such fun events. It was great! Then, I started to feel better and made the mistake of going back to work for 2 days which caused The Relapse! Yes, the flu came back and it was pissed! More fevers, coughing, weakness, but no Tyelnol overdosing this time around. The brain was working a little better this time! Anyway, after way too long, I am finally better and thankful that I don’t have to worry about being sick again until I turn 30! (ahh!)
• March Madness in all its glory. That’s really all I have to say about that.
• Our illegally purchased in China Town turtle turned one last month. A real accomplishment for us and her as the typical life expectancy of said illegally purchased china town turtles is less than a month!
• Oh! For those of us cool people who watched Boy Meets World as youngsters: today on the corner of 75th street and West End Avenue (that’s where I live) I saw Mr. Feeney! That’s right, he’s not only Cory’s helpful neighbor, but I’m hoping, in time, mine too!

In closing, know that I will soon upload recent photos to make this more interesting and that I tried to add music to this, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to do it. As I live in perpetual fear of what will happen when technology gets too advanced and then gets pissed off, I will leave that adventure for another day!

Several months ago, my mom asked me to send my snapfish.com photos to various family members so that they would know what was going on with me since they always ask her. Have I done this? No.

A few days ago, I was on the phone with best friend Amber and realized that I hadn’t told her about a major life event that happened a year ago. Oops! (sorry for being cryptic)

These unrelated facts are the reason why Brianne, hater of Myspace and it’s relatives, has decided to start a blog. This way, if you want to know what’s up, you can find out at your leisure. And, I won’t be the jackass that forgot to tell you.

It just works out so well for everyone!