I mean, seriously, what’s with the every other day stamp increases? Didn’t we just jump up to 41 cents? Did they not foresee that they would be doing this shortly thereafter? Couldn’t they have just made the jump to 42 cents and then left us the hell alone for a while? Stupid Bastards!
It is for this reason that I have been going a little overboard (if you can imagine that I would do that) when it comes to buying the “forever stamps”. You know, those ugly ones with the liberty bell that you can use forever no matter what the price when you bought them or when you use them. That’s right, it’s 2008 and I’ve been stocking up on the forever stamps since late 2007 all with the plan to make the post office rue the day! The best part of my plan is how long term it is. I’m not going to use the 41 cent forever stamps now that the stamps cost one teeny tiny cent more. NO! My revenge will not be taken out one penny at a time. I’m going to wait….and wait…..and wait….Years will pass. Stamp prices will continue to increase. Half a dollar. A dollar. A dollar fifty…and ever up and up. And then, and only then, when the prices are well over a dollar will Brianne’s Postal Service Revenge Plan go into action. I will then start using my 41 cent stamps with all my mail (and I send a lot of mail)! Ha!
Perhaps some of you are thinking that the post office will never know that I am screwing them over because the forever stamps don’t have the amount paid for them written on them. This is true. This is where phase two comes in. I am going to write on the envelope that I only paid 41 cents for them. Read it and weep postal workers of ten years from now! Read it and weep!
Wondering how many 41 cent forever stamps I have? I’m proud to say that I have 200 in water proof envelopes clearly labeled with the year in which they were purchased and for what price! This is quite a task as they don’t sell rolls of 100 forever stamps because they don’t want anyone to be brilliant like me and take advantage of their idiocy! Well, you’ve under estimated the wrong angry postal customer!
Some people, say my mom, might think this is silly and a sad commentary on the way I think. But I’m hoping someone out there will recognize the planning, organization, commitment to excellence and general awesomeness that goes into a plan that I know will not come to fruition for at least a decade. You know, they do say that revenge is a dish best served cold. And won’t the post office be shocked at this frozen bit of revenge when it bites them in the ass in 2018?
I was originally going to post this the day the stamp price changed, but Meghan suggested I do it now to give you all the opportunity to buy 41 cent forever stamps and to jump on board with my plan to stick it to the post office. Just think about it….Brings tears to the eyes, doesn’t it?
