Brianne Blogs?

The last time I was in Michigan was 5 years ago. Let’s take a moment to savor this fantastic story. Four score and five years ago, I got the flu and Aunt Marge died. Yes, it was a great week!

While you might think that I would have more details about this week, I do not. I do not remember much of anything about this week. In fact, the details I remember about this week are so few that I can actually list them:

1. I wore khaki pants and a black sweater to Aunt Marge’s funeral

2. mom didn’t drive up with Maren, Dad, Kyle and me, she flew up later

3. Nope, no three. I don’t remember anything else and it’s for this reason that I can only hope that I wasn’ t in charge of driving any of the legs of the trip. Although, had that been the case, I don’t think any of us would still be here, so I must not have driven.

Yes, that is the extent of my memories of this last trip to Michigan so I’m pretty excited to be going back without any funerals or viruses. Let’s keep our fingers cross—–oh! I just came up with something else that I remember:

4. I think  that there was some sort of accident with the incense they burn and swing around in Catholic churches (what’s up with that?) and that perhaps it spilled and landed on the floor and there was nearly a fire during Aunt Marge’s funeral. I’m about 80% sure that this is an actual memory and not imagined. Let’s just go with it and be impressed with my flu-addled brain for remembering 4 things. (Okay, I know it was only three, but I’m still taking credit for 4 cuz it’s my blog and I can!)

Now, if all goes well, I will be in Michigan this afternoon and not stranded somewhere or having to leave my luggage on board a plane I am forced to leave so dogs can sniff for explosives. (true story) And, if this isn’t asking to much, I am also hoping that once I get to Michigan, I will be able to remember what happens. Yes, dream big, Brianne.

And, as this is a possible beyond the grave blog, I am including a photo of how I’d like to be remembered:

Since I am unsure of the internet access status in small farm-town Michigan where my grandparents live, I am doing some pre-blogging for your holiday enjoyment. However, as I was pondering this just now, I was thinking how creepily-awesome it would be if I died en route to Michigan and then all of these blogs kept popping up post mortem. Blogs from beyond the grave are awesome! Right?

I think to make things clear during my absentee blogging, I’ll specify during the blog whether or not this is live blogging or possible beyond the grave blogging. Perhaps you are wondering why it is that I think I might not survive my holiday trip. And I must tell you that it’s because my luck with air travel is non-existent. For serious. As most of you have heard these stories before and I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged about them, I won’t go into detail. But, suffice it to say, if there is a delay, an incidental overnight in Kentucky, luggage to be lost or a crazy woman looking to get on a plane and declare there are also evil spirits on board, I will be on that flight. I will be the poor soul stranded in crapping Kentucky. I will be the sad sad girl without her clothes and phone charger for three days. Yes, that will be me. Has been me. Is me. (moment of sympathetic silence for my traveling woes)

With all of that said, this cannot be classified as beyond the grave blogging as I am still alive and leaving for Michigan tomorrow. I just wanted to give everyone the heads up. Yep, this is just regular old live blogging. Nothing creepy or awesome about it.

So, here’s wishing me good luck. I mean it, take a moment right now to pray, light a candle, think good thoughts, make an animal sacrifice or whatever it is that you do to send out the good brianne-makes-it-to-her-destination vibes into the world. I’m supposed to leave NY tomorrow at 12:39pm and arrive in Detroit at 2:40 pm. I’ll be sure and let you know how that turned out…or will I? (yes, it did get a little creepy!)

Many many a post ago I quoted to you from the Bro Code introduction and promised to let you in on some of the funnier bro code rules.

A. When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, “What is this, a chicks restroom?” if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball…rebounding optional.

B.  A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist of having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly, they’re not that heavy.

C. Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

Please take some time this holiday season to learn and follow these rules.

I just finished a book called The Cleft. It’s about the first community on earth which was all women and they gave birth to only other women and then one day, they started having boys which they thought were “monsters” and it’s the story of what happened after that. It was really great. And probably pretty close to what would have happened had that been the case. Of course you’d think your kid was deformed if they showed up with the male parts when they’d never existed before. It was a solid book and an interesting read. It was also interesting to see the way the stereotypes and traditional gender roles got started according to this author. I’m going to try to read two more books this year before I start off 2009 with Crime and Punishment. Russian literature, here I come!

P.S. To those of you who have been asking “has it snowed there yet?” to which I have had to angrily say “NO” over and over, LOOK:

Okay, this happened about two weeks ago and I forgot to tell you about our super duper not to be believed christmas wreath bargain. The night we went to see the Rockefeller tree for the first time after its lighting, we were headed home and passed by one of the sidewalk christmas tree “lots”. Meghan and I like to laugh about how it’s the only time of year that you walk around and take big deep breaths on the streets of New York City. I wish you could all experience the joy of walking home through the fantastic smell of pine on your street.

Anyway, we were passing the tree guys on the corner of 73rd and Broadway and we stopped to get our traditional holiday christmas wreaths. Meghan and I use a fake tree but get real wreathes for our bedroom doors. So, we stop and Lisa asks how much they are and the guy says $15 each. What!? That’s craziness. So then Lisa starts in on New York street bargaining by mentioning a bargain that another vender was willing to give her. “I got another guy talked down to $10 each the other day”. So, we go back and forth with this really funny tree seller guy and then he says he’ll give us 2 for $10 if we can guess where he is from. The best part: he’ll give us 10 guesses. So, we start to guess. Russia, Germany, Denmark. No, No, No. We have mini huddles as we try to decide what to guess next. We get to our final guess and our merchant friend says he will give us a hint. And then my all-consuming love for all things ESPN and my forcing Lisa and Meghan to watch tennis and learn to love it came in super-duper handy. “Do you follow sports?” he says. Oh, please. Do I follow sports. “As long as it’s not soccer” I reply and then we get our hint. “Tennis”. Now, while this is indeed a broad hint, I take a moment and come up with “Serbia” which is where stinky shoes (Novak Djokavich) and Anna Ivanovich and Yelena Jankovich are all from.

And so we walk away from this man with two wreaths original price $30 for $10. That my friends, is a Christmas miracle and we have been loving every moment of our wreathes. They are giant and smell so so so good. May you all be the beneficiaries of Christmas Holiday Bargain Miracles and let this be a lesson to us all that watching ESPN and sports in general can and does save lives. (Okay, not exactly, but close, right?)

Every year, even the one Lisa spent in Hawaii, the girls and I have a fake Christmas. And it was Wednesday! Yeah! What’s the only thing better than one christmas? Two christmases! And that’s how we roll here in Queens. (okay, not queens)

We started the day way too early and got some cookies and ate breakfast at our favorite place and still had hours until fake Christmas started. I don’t know why you fools start your days so early, you just have all this extra time to waste. Boo getting up early! I just had to sit there and look at the beautifully wrapped presents and yearn to open them.

Then it was finally time and we got to open presents.

Lisa got a game called Dicecabades from Meghan and we immediately busted it open and had a rousing first game. It involved trivia, physical challenges, pictionary and there were dice involved. Meghan had to do push-ups at one point and the girls had to arm wrestle once. In case you are wondering who won, I dominated! Merry Christmas to me!

And, as is the end result of all christmases, we had a graveyard of wrapping paper and ribbons and one tired Lisa.

It was a lovely afternoon/evening of christmas music, games, sugar and presents. Thanks girls for my necklace, socks, sports almanac, 3 new books and all the lovely stocking stuffers. Well done us, this year. Looking forward to second christmas (like second breakfast on Lord of the Rings).

Hello All! Today is Brianne, Lisa and Meghan’s fake Christmas. It’s 9:40am and I am awake and Meghan is awake and wrapping presents and we are listening to Christmas music. It’s a lovely day in the neighborhood. We are watching christmas shows and playing games and listening to christmas music and opening presents! It’s going to be a great day! Photos to come!

This is not our living room, but how great would it be if it were?

Last Saturday after the Heisman show, ESPN aired a fully colorized for the first time ever edition of the 1958 NFL Championship, also known as the greatest game ever played. Having heard of this for years but having never seen it, I recorded it and watched it Sunday night.

Man alive did ESPN hit it out of the park with this one. I was excited about just getting to see the game, but they didn’t just show the game. They sat down old Giants/Colts players with current Giants/Colts players and had them watch the game together and they showed some of their comments and questions to one another. They also had former and current coaches, reporters and cheerleaders. It was fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And since I had no idea who won or what happened in the game, it was all new to me and pretty exciting. It was the first ever overtime game in NFL history and is still to this day the only time a championship game has gone into overtime. That’s good stuff. The broadcaster for the game said that if you were looking to script a movie about a football game that it’s this game and it’s already been written. True story.

And, with all classic sporting events, I cried. Yes, as the old players are talking about what that game meant to them, I made the best kind of tears there are: tears for sport.

Science question: I wonder if there is a chemical difference in tears depending on the emotion behind them. Perhaps happy tears have some serotonin (the feel good chemical) in them and angry tears have adrenaline in them and maybe sport tears have a little sweat or dirt in them (how great would that be?). Something to look into the next time any of us do a science project.

Friday afternoon, Lisa and I met for a warm beverage and then on to see The Day the Earth Stood Still in the glory of IMAX! Yeah! As with all movies where a city has to be invaded, attacked or destroyed, Manhattan was of course the setting. Seriously, take it somewhere else!

Then Saturday, we did an indie movie double feature. First, Slumdog Millionaire. This movie was absolutely fantastic. If it comes to your area (there is a chance this will happen as it’s not just playing at the indie theatres here) you should see it. It’s dramatic, it’s funny, it’s sweet (but not too sweet), it’s just plain good! Also, Lisa thought the main character looked like “an Indian Michael Phelps” which made me laugh so hard I nearly fell over. What more you could ask for?

For the second movie, Erica joined us for A Christmas Tale, a French movie with the classic French star, Catherine Deneuve. This movie was good for two reasons. It was not a precious Christmas story and it was subtitled. You know how I love the foreign movies!

Sadly, the triple play movie viewing I suggested for Sunday was rejected. Aparently there aren’t enough hours in the day for Lisa to go to church, sleep, work a 12 hour shift and see three movies. What can you do? Maybe next weekend.

I’ve seen some really good movies lately and will now share the word.

Quantum of Solace-John and I saw this the week he was here and I forgot to blog about it. It was awesome. Action from start to finish. If you can think of a mode of transportation, then there was an action sequence involving it. Good, good, good. And you get the added bonus of the ridiculously hot Daniel Craig.

Changeling-Meghan and I saw this last week and loved it. It was so so good. We also loved the fact that we were in the smallest theatre ever. This was an odd turn of events since we saw this movie in Times Square. I swear this theatre maybe sat 35 people. Maybe. It was teeny teeny tiny. This small sized theatre created a problem for Meghan when this man sat down next to her and proceeded to look at her and laugh toward her and basically act like they were at the movie together the whole time. Ah, good times. Luckily, the movie was so good that this did not taint the experience of it. If you haven’t seen this, you should. And that’s saying a lot from me since I usually hate movies that are based on a true story.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas-Lisa, Meghan and I saw this Friday night before we had dinner and went to see the tree. This is based on a young adult book and is about a Nazi family who live near a work camp. This movie was really good. It was one of those movies where when the credits come up, nobody in the theatre moves and no one speaks until they get outside of the theatre. Pretty impressive. Also, our friend Lisa had a bit of a domestic disturbance with the woman sitting in front of her. When the three of us sat down, she turned and gave us the evil eye, so she was pissed right of the bat for no reason. Then, about halfway through the movie, Lisa moves her leg and accidentally kicks the old ladys seat and old lady turns and gives anothe evil eye and lisa apologizes and old lady basically hisses “then why don’t you try not to do it again?”. Needless to say when I suggested to Lisa that we invite crochety old lady to dinner, she turned me down.

I recommend all of these movies, but none of the strange people experiences that the girls had. Good Luck.