Brianne Blogs?

So, here I sit in our apartment without water (not that I am without water, but the water has been shut off in our building from 9am-2pm) needing to pee and take a shower (neither of which I can do).

I just finished packing with 2 hours to spare, I thank you very much. I’d like to say that intelligent packing was done but I’m afraid that all I can say is that packing was done.

And I am struck with the feeling that I have forgotten something crucial to my trip. You know that feeling when you know you have forgotten something and you know it’s important but you can’t crack the code on what that thing is. And I made a list. A good, detailed one. And I have crossed all the items off of that list. But still, the feeling lingers. I guess the best I can say is that it’s definately not underware that I have forgotten and I packed shirts so at least I’ll be covered.

Due to my lack of sleep it took me almost a half an hour to realize that if I don’t like what’s in my travel-sized liquid containers from my last trip that I can empty them out and put in something that I do want. For serious, a half hour to make that brilliant realization.

One can only hope that my thinking processes are a little clearer after some sleep.

It’s a water miracle! Just as I was about to publish this post, the water came back on! Three cheers for the water coming back on! Yeah!

Yes, it’s finally here. Today Zak and I leave for our much talked about Europe trip. I think Zak’s been calling it our European Conquest. However, I think that makes it sound like we’re crusading over there and so I’ve been thinking of it more in terms of Brianne and Zak Take Europe, like the Muppets Take Manhattan. But that also doesn’t have quite the ring that I’d like. Maybe we’ll come up with a good title for our trip on the plane.

Anyway, we leave tonight at 6-ish and arrive in Paris at 7am (Paris time) and then we start our day right from the airport. Zak and I both pulled all-nighters in preparation for this flight and we will be sleeping on the plane all the way there. We are lucky enough to be in an exit row. So, on top of the great honor of opening the exit door in case of emergency, we also get more leg room. Score!

As per my usual, I will be telling no one if we arrive safely. I just don’t do it. Expect a call if something goes awry. If not, I will be incommunicado for the next 11 days. We will have our phones with us and you will be able to call us as normal, but anytime we answer the phone it will cost us $1.29 or more per minute. So, feel free to call and leave messages but know that if your information is not worth the money it will cost me to hear it I may ask you to reimburse me my $1.29. If you have any questions that Meghan can answer, feel free to call her.

So, happy next 11 days to you all. There will be blog posts everyday telling you where we are supposed to be and what we expect to be doing, but this is all conjecture. When I get back I’ll post a million pictures and tell you what I assume will be our many stories that will start with “we were so lost in germany…austria…italy…etc.”.

I just finished reading book four in the children’s book series Septimus Heap. It’s like a poor mans Harry Potter. But since it’s been almost 2 years since the last HP came out, I’ll take what I can get at this point. I also chose a childrens book because I was looking for a little light reading while trying to do all of my schoolwork for the trip before I go and nothing says light reading like wizards, dragons and the place where all times do meet.

Sadly, there was only one sentence I found funny enough to quote from this book:

“A bath was not a rats favorite way of spending time-he couldn’t remember when he had last had one-but when a rat is off to the Palace, he has to make an effort”.

Yep, that’s it. A line about a rat visiting the princess who felt he needed a bath.

Confession: This book took me so little time to read that I started a new book yesterday. And while I got a lot of new adult books for my birthday, I decided to go with back to back children’s books so as to not tax the brain too much. I’d hate to do too much thinking. The new book is about the land of imagination called Foo and takes place in Oklahoma! And, it’s really funny and has many funny quotes so far. Stay tuned.

Unrelated PS-I leave for Europe in two days! Who’s ready for that? Not me.

I just finished reading an article about the outbreak of equine flu in Mexico City. Their flu cases tripled in March/Arpil which they attributed to a late season flu. Then they noticed that people who normally don’t die from a flu infection (20-40 year olds) were dying. So, finally, Mexico decided to send off samples from the patients and it was discovered that it’s a new strain from pigs that humans don’t have any immunity to.

Okay, so now there have been cases in Kansas and Texas and possibly NYC. The interesting thing is what the Health Department in Mexico City (population 20 million) told its citizens to do to prevent infection: “always stay at least 6 feet away from another person”.
Seriously?! That’s the best idea you have? You can’t stay 6 feet away from other people in Mexico City or New York City unless you plan never to leave your home! What about the Subway and buses and taxis and standing on the corner of a street waiting to cross? I guess I’ll just have to hope that the NYC case is not actually this pig flu because if it is, it will only take about 2 days to get us all since we are all so close to one another all the time.

What a great time to be leaving the country. Sorry Meghan, I hope you don’t get it while I’m gone.

Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy wrote about A-Rod this week and I found it quite funny:

“A friend asked me this question last week. How many consecutive columns could I extract from Alex Rodriguez?

My final answer: 10. No modern athlete brings more to the idea table. He plays in New York for a team that stopped making the World Series as soon as he arrived. He has made statistical history but cheated to do it. He’s our highest paid athlete in a tanking economy. He’s the star client of this generations most despised agent. He’s handsome and articulate, only his polished personality is so contrived nobody can connect to him. If gossip rags and blogs had a Thank God for This Athlete fantasy draft, he’d unquestionably be the first pick.

He’s an embarrassment of column-related riches. A-Rod has even shattered the Tyson Zone: when an athlete’s life turns to bizarre you become numb  to any twist in his story. A-Rod allegedly broke up Madonna’s marriage? I’m not blinking. A-Rod kissed himself for a magazine photo shoot? I’m unfazed. A-Rod is having a torrid romance with conjoined twins? If you say so. He’s A-Rod, dammit. I’m prepared for anything.”   -Bill Simmons

I must say that while I miss A-Rods batting average and defense, I don’t miss A-Rod the person. If only we could clone his body and then not allow the clone to speak. It’d be the best of all worlds.

Dad-sorry you just had to read so much about a New York sports team.

And a big thank you to those of you who replied with your “i hate” comments. They were all great!

Last night the girls and I went to see the Musical version of the Dolly Parton classic-9 to 5. Dolly did the music and it was great. We had such a great time and the music was so fun and funny! Well done, Dolly!

We met Zak beforehand at Bourbon Street to enjoy the happy hour and great food.

Needless to say, we drank a lot and had great food.

And aparently, Zak and Lisa really enjoyed themselves.

Today’s survival guide information is about getures to avoid when travelling abroad:

1. The Upside-Down Glass on Bar: In the US and other countries, turning your glass upside-down might indicate that you don’t want anything to drink. In some pubs in Australia, however, finishing your drink, turning the glass upside-down, and placing it squarely on the bar may signal that you believe you can win a fight with anyone present.

2. Eye Contact: In Pakistan, staring is common. Do no be offended if someone stares at you. In Zimbabwe, do not maintain continued directed eye contact. It is considered rude, particularly in rural areas. In New York City, do not make eye contact with anyone on a subway, train, or bus. Read a book or newspaper, or maintain an unfocused, nonresponsive visage to avoid incident (that’s the book talking, not me).

3. The Fig Gesture: In most Latin American countries it is considered phallic and very rude. In Brazil, the fig gesture means “good luck”. In parts of the US, it means “I’ve got your nose”, part of a children’s game in which one person pretends to have captured the other person’s nose. (How smart does this last one make Americans sound?)

4. The Okay Sign: In Brazil, Germany and Russia, it indicates a very private orifice and is an insult. In Japan, the sign indicates that you want change. Use this gesture if you want a cashier in a store to give your change in coins. In France, it is an insult. It denotes the number zero or the concept of something being worthless. When placed over the nose, it means “drunk”.

All good tips. And I think it’s safe to say that this also applies to being abducted by a UFO. Because, after all, you don’t want to be gesturing inappropriately to an EBE and thus be abducted for an ill-timed hand gesture. I tell you what, if these survival guide posts don’t save a life, I’ll be shocked.

Preview of tomrrow: The girls and I are meeting Zak for dinner (happy hour) and then off to see 9 to 5 on Broadway. That’s right, it’s all Dolly Parton all the time! Who could ask for anything more?

Yes friends, I just finished my annual reading of Pride and Prejudice. Oh, how I love this book. I love reading it every spring. Every year I get a little nervous when I pick it up again about whether or not this will be the year that I get bored with it and regret my yearly reading. However, luckily for me, that has yet to happen and did not happen again this year.

I will not quote from this book in order to spare the haters out there (Amber). Although I think she should read the book before she rejects it totally.

Unrelated side note: Happy Earth Day.

Friends. Take a minute to think about things you hate in one form but love in another. I’ll give you my examples and I promise you’ll have several of your own.

1.i  hate broccoli but love broccoli soup

2.i  hate tomotoes but love tomato soup and ketchup and pasta sauce

3. i hate chocolate covered cherries but love the chocolate covered cherry shake from sonic

4.i  hate the harry potter movies but love the harry potter books

5. i hate tequilla but love long island iced teas and margaritas

6. i love cinnamon but hate anything cinnamon flavored

7. i love basketball but hate womens basketball

8. i love the christmas season but hate christmas day

That’s all I could think of off the top of my head. Take some time to ponder your own and the reasons behind them. It’s pretty interesting as far as random ponderings go.

So, I’ve been slowly making my way through the first season of Arrested Development. And I must say, I love it. It’s super funny and has Jason Bateman in it and is narrated by Ron Howard. What more could a person want in a comedy? I say, nothing.

My favorite quote from the episode I watched yesterday:

Mother: “I’ll be in the hospital bar.”

Son: “you know there is no hospital bar.”

Mother: “That must be why people hate hospitals.”

Unrelated other information. People that I talk to on a regular basis keep asking me when I am leaving for my trip as if I would not mention it to Maren or Amber and just leave without talking to them before going. So, for those of you who are wondering again and for the Ambers and Marens of the world who keep asking, I’m leaving April 30th and coming back May 11. For the Oklahomans who are reading, I’ll be in your great state May 17-22. I hope Sonic is ready for the increase in business that will happen when Jeff, Brianne and Maren spend a week in OK.