Okay, this really isn’t a confession to anyone who has ever heard me talk about books. I’m a book snob. Big time. I think that people who only read The DaVinci Code and Oprah Book Club Books* and The Five People You Meet in Heaven and Eat, Pray, Love are not in fact readers. That they are making the rest of us book lovers look bad. That they and the authors they read are sullying the good name of book. That they and the romance novel readers of the world should be locked away from the rest of us. (Don’t you love that I always have such strong opinions? While it might seem annoying at times, you’re rarely ever confused about how I feel about anything which I think is probably refreshing, right?)
(*Okay, confession within a confession: I have read and enjoyed many an Oprah Book Club Book. Fall on Your Knees, The Road (which I read 6 months before she picked it), The Secret Life of Bees were all great books selected by Oprah. In point of fact, it’s not actually the books I have a problem with in this case, it’s that there are people women in the world who only read books that Oprah tells them to read. This makes me nervous because it’s just one more fact that points to the secret truth that Oprah runs the world and controls the minds of millions of Amercian women. Many moons ago when Oprah endorsed Obama what did I say? “There goes Hillary’s chances, Obama will win”. And who is in the oval office now? The guy that Oprah picked. I’m just saying…)

This tiny book snob opinion of mine has long been a point of contention with me and several people, but particulary Maren who has  read all of Dan Brown’s books (DaVinci Code guy) and has given me books as gifts that I have not read because of my aforementioned book snobbery.

 Alas, when we were driving back from Oklahoma on day 2-the longest day ever due to a slight mis-calculation on our parts-Maren somehow got me to promise to read The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons and to read all the other books she has bought me that I haven’t read. Ahhh!! How did this happen? I blame Pennsylvania! If we hadn’t been trapped in that state for a million years, I would not have become so bored and mentally fragile and open to suggestion.

WAIT!!!

 On the way to Oklahoma I was telling Maren and Jeff about my final project for my psych class that was about suggestion and how people confess to things they didn’t do and will agree to things they didn’t do and what causes this. Is it then a coincidence that Maren was then able to get me to agree to something I would not normally agree to or was she using my own lessons against me? I think Maren is much tricksier then she seems on the outside. I think beneath her cute giggles and shy demeanor she’s an evil, scheming, dirty whore (that’s right!) and she has fooled me! I bow my head in the shame of it all…or do I? For if Maren has finally learned the tricks of getting people to do things that they don’t want to do hasn’t she just finally learned what I’ve been trying to teach her for years? The skill that I’ve been using to my own advantage since I was a little girl? So, if you think about it, there’s no need to hang my head in shame. Rather, I should be giving myself a parenting high five and saying a heartfelt Way to Go! to Maren.

Way to Go, Maren!

 (p.s i know maren is not a cat, but figure she’d enjoy the cat giving a high five picture)

And back to topic-this summer will be a summer of reading that I won’t want to write home about, but I will be honest and blog my true feelings. The thing is, I’m sure I will like most of these books. There are very few books that I dislike (I think I’m going to have a whole separate blog post on books that I hate) and I’m sure that if Maren likes these books they will be, at the very least, entertaining. Since I won’t be reading anything of substance this summer, I’ve decided to take it all the way. I will read all of the Dan Brown books and the other books Maren got me and then I will also read only childrens literature or books about vampires. In fact, if there is a life lesson to be learned, a tear to be shed, a life decision to be re-though, I will have no part of it this summer! That’s right, it’s all fluff reading for me! You know, go big or go home!