I was thinking the other day about things that really bother me and was sad to discover that my greatest pet peeve doesn’t really apply in my life anymore so I think I’ll have to change it. My #1 pet peeve has always been discourteous drivers. You know, the ones who drive below the speed limit, don’t understand that the left lane is for passing, try to wave you on at a 4 way stop even when it’s their turn thus causing more problems that their intended “kindness” would have prevented. I hate those people. Alas, in New York, where I drive a car maybe once a year, I never have to deal with these things, so I think it’s time to revamp my pet peeves list. I know, I’ll make an NYC pet peeves list and then a list of things that I love about NYC just to even it all out and make sure I don’t anger it. I’m pretty sure if you piss off the city, it takes you out with a taxi the very next day.

New York Pet Peeves:

1. Tourists who stop in the middle of the sidewalk to look around or take a picture. It’s fine to stop. It’s fine to look around. It’s fine to take a picture. But you wouldn’t stop your car in the middle of the road to do these things so don’t stop your butt in the middle of the sidewalk. Pull off to the side of the walk and do your slow tourist business there!

2. People who won’t move to let people on or off the subway when they are standing in front of the door. Obviously you have to stand in front of the door sometimes. But when other people need to get on or off, you need to move. And if you can’t move further into the car for a minute, try taking a step out of the subway car. We will let you back on and you can even have your spot back!

3. Pre-teens (this to me is all people ages 12-19) who travel in packs, texting, yelling, screaming, wearing their skinny jeans, rough housing and talking loudly during movies!

4. Men who feel not only the need to whistle at you or say something inappropriate in spanish, but who then follow you down the street and try to walk with you and ask you questions. Are you kidding? Have you ever heard a story that started with “I met my husband one magical day when he cat-called me from the corner and stalked me for a block or two…”? NO?! Because it doesn’t happen!

5. Kids being pushed in strollers who are way too old to be pushed in strollers. I know that we walk a lot in the city and it’s hard for little toddler legs to keep up, but add more time to your trip or take a train. Do not push around your 5 year old in a stroller. It’s got to stunt them in some important social way, it’s just got to!

6. People who don’t pick up their dog poop! Gross!

7. People who try to cross the street when it’s not time to cross, nearly get hit by a taxi and then curse at the taxi driver like it was his fault. Actually, this doesn’t bother me, I think it’s funny.

8. People who put books outside by the trash when it’s going to rain. This pains me in my soul. In NYC it’s okay to put books out by the trash because the rest of us will come along and take the ones we want and the circle of that book’s life can continue. However, when you put a book outside and it rains, then the rest of us cannot take it and it has to be killed in the trash. This hurts. Deep.

New York Loves:

1. I love that no matter what time of day it is or how bad the traffic is, it always takes me the same amount of time to get to and from work.

2. I love the mystery smell that eminates out of Citarella (the market on our corner) that is so good it stopped me and Meghan in our tracks the first time we smelled it. I also love that we are both so afraid of being disappointed in what is actually making the smell that we have never tried to find out but rather prefer to enjoy the smell itself and the ideas we have imagined to be its source.

3. I love it when you drop something and someone behind you picks it up and brings it to you. This happens alot actually.

4. Marathon Day! This day is by far the best day of the whole year. I can’t explain it but I cry every year when we are standing next to strangers cheering on other strangers as they do this great thing through our city. Such a great day!

5. Top of the Rock. Yes, I live here and must admit that one of my favorite things is the tourist attraction where you go to the top of Rockefeller center to see the great views of the city. I love it and never tire of it and, confession, don’t just go when I have out of town guests.

6. The Staten Island Ferry. Yes, in another confession, in the warmer months, I take this free ferry to Staten Island at least once a month and then turn around and immediately come back. It’s not like there’s anything I need to do there, so I just take the trip and head home. It’s so pretty to be on the water and see the Statue of Liberty and the city and did I mention it’s free?

7. I love that taxi drivers will slow down and see if you need a ride if you are a woman walking alone after dark. How great is that? I also love when taxi drivers carry your luggage to your door when you are coming back from the airport. Again, so great!

8. I love how when I was on crutches a few years ago people would offer me steats on the subway all the time. See, we’re not mean here.

9. I also love it when you see a tourist looking at a map or trying to take a picture and you offer to give directions or take the picture for them and they seem so shocked that a scary, mean New Yorker would be so helpful.

Yep, those are my likes and dislikes for this city I call home. But don’t worry, if I ever move to a place that requires more driving, I’ll move discourteous drivers back to the number one spot. Also, John, in case you were worried, my road rage is still firmly intact.