So, WordPress, this fine website where I post my blog, has a little section called Blog Stats. I love this section as it appeals to the nerd in me that likes to make lists and look at charts. This section gives you a line graph of the number of people who have visited your blog everyday. How great is that?

A year ago when this bad boy first got launched, I would always have a few days each month when only 3 people checked my blog. These three people were Grandma Sally, Meghan and Erica. Never fail, they were there to boost my blog stat numbers. Now, however, and in the last few months, my minimum number of visitors has jumped to 9. Who are these 9 people who are daily visitors to my blog? Do I even know all of you? If I do know you, would I want you reading my blog? Are you my arch nemesis from 3rd grade, Terry Keylon (who told the principal that I said “f*&^” under the moonclimber at recess which I most certainly did not-little bastard!)? Are you a crazy man who is cyber stalking me as a warm up for the actual real-life stalking you are about to start that will end with me chained up in a room or being boiled alive in a vat of acid?

You see, at first I was excited about this jump in readership, but after considering that last option I mentioned above, I’m starting to think it’s not so great to have mystery readers. And what if the mystery readers are Free Masons sent to read my blog to keep track of me since I purchased Angels and Demons? What if it’s the US Government monitoring my blog since my post office rant of last April? What if the state of Oklahoma finally remembered that I owe them a ton of money from all the tolls I ran through and is preparing to get me and now I’ve confessed so I’ll have no leg to stand on in toll court? Oh dear, this gets worse by the minute.

So I say to you, Nine Mystery Readers, that even though you are watching me, I too will be watching you. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but soon I will be watching…

Hearty apologies to these Mystery Nine if they are, in fact, friends or family or both. A girls got to be prepared!